I am glad I am back. The recent weeks have been very stormy for me. Well, everything that I had planned fell apart, literally. I underwent a minor surgery and realized how much each of my limbs work tirelessly for me, without complaining. I want to share some of my personal reflections with your permission.
To begin with, I saw a small harmless little boil smiling at me just below my navel. I thought this little boy will stay for a day or two and then leave me. I was dead wrong. This little harmless boil was here to stay. Within 3 days, he had grown from a little boy to a grown up man, the size of a tennis ball. I could smell trouble. I could hardly do any of my daily chores in a normal way. Walking was a challenge, since I could hardly wear a belt. Sitting which otherwise is effortless, now became an art. Tilting my body at various angles, I had to sit with making him furious. Going for my daily abolutions was painful. Sleeping was dreadful since I could not move my body. I had to sleep in one position every single night for 4 days. I had to eat my food mostly standing which otherwise I enjoy, however, now it was a necessity. I could not imagine sitting down for food as it was just too painful either to sit or to finally get up once done. I tried the impossible. I asked my family doctor whether this little boy can be dealt with using only antibiotics. He said he is doubtful, yet let’s give it a shot. Finally, I was to undergo surgery since the little boy just became a stubborn man who refused to leave me.
For the first time in my life, I was injected spinal anaesthesia. Ouch, it still hurts when I recall what the experience was. My lower body was suddenly lifeless to say the least. My brain refused to communicate with my two legs. It was downright frustrating and exasperating to realize the futility of me trying telling my brain to talk to my limbs. While I was being operated, I was wide awake and could see the vital parameters beeping just right. Two days of stay at the hospital and I was finally home. It is these moments when you are in the heart of the storm, that one grows inwardly. Laying on the hospital bed, physically incapacitated for 2 days as part of recuperation, the silent moments of staring at the wall was also a moment of A-ha for me.
For the first time, I probably understand what a woman undergoes in her entire journey of pregnancy. Well, at least I believe I understand some parts of it.
My story was for just about a week wherein I had to redesign my life and my movements.
For a woman, she redesigns her life for 9 whole months before the baby is born. Wow, that’s truly a strength you have O dear mother.
You carry me in your womb happily, talking to me and nurturing me. You actually change the way you live your life. And then, when I want to enter the world, you surrender yourself to Nature and give birth to me. I realize how painful it must be for you, yet you endure. The ecstasy of motherhood supersedes all pain. I acknowledge your supremacy wholeheartedly.
The limbs being lifeless for about 2 hours post anaesthesia only made me realize how life is different for my fellow human beings who are going through the storms of different physical ailments or mental ailments. Forgive me for having been insensitive during some moments of my life. My recent experience only opens me up to become a better human being, who is more sensitive than before to the various challenges you are undergoing.
I have realized that how much I take my body for granted. I need to start acknowledging its preciousness and its temporariness. I am deeply grateful for each of the parts which work in unison to make me what I am.
Makes me wonder of how we can apply this to everything we create whether it’s a new design or an organization that we lead or a family we are part of. Each of the part works to form the whole.
One last piece, all my reports were normal. My blood is healthy, my heart is fit and fine, I have no BP nor diabetes, my post-surgical test reports are normal. I am so glad the storm has finally passed. The sun is shining bright and I am back to soaking the sun in.
– #SJ
